Sunday, May 25, 2008

Miss Universe



In this picture there are five Miss universe contestants from very different countries: Venezuala, Korea, Brazil, USA and Japan.

If you look closely, you may notice something; THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME!
I wouldn't be surprised if a chick from the USA looked like a chick from any other country (due to cultural diversity), but the asians look just like the latinos!!

This had me thinking; is there a mould that Miss Universe contestants need to fit in order to be successful?

Here are pics of the winners since the turn of the century:

2000 - Lara Dutta (India)



2001 - Denise QuiƱones (Puerto Rico)



2002 - Oxana Fedorova (Russia), on the right, replaced by Justine Pasek (Panama)



2003 - Amelia Vega (Dominican Republic)



2004 - Jennifer Hawkins (Australia)



2005 - Natalie Glebova (Canada)



2006 - Zuleyka Rivera (Puerto Rico)



2007 - Riyo Mori (Japan)



Is it just me; or, on any given day, could every single one of these chicks (bar Hawkins, 2004) pass as a latino?
This further illustrates my point that all the successful Miss Universe contestants look, or endeavour to look, the same.

2004 was just a slip-up and a blonde somehow won. You have to go all the way back to 1999 for another mistake - Mpule Kwelagobe is black!



I'm taking bets on when the next slip-up will be, where the contestant will be from, hair / skin colour etc.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Momma Always Said

"Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get."

Bullshit.

I know exactly what i'm going to get when i purchase a box of chocolates. It says so on the pack.
To be fair, i'm not an expert on life in the American Deep South circa 1960;* but i think it's fair to assume that if you asked for a box of chocolate truffles, then you would receive a box of chocolate truffles.**

*Maybe a case such as Donoghue V Stevenson was a common thing around then and people never knew if they would actually find some form of decomposed bug in their pre-packaged produce
**Depending on availability and whether or not you asked the right person





Guylian Seashells; an example of a box of chocolates where you clearly know what you are going to get.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Land Tax

any way you look at it; it's a total scam and it causes people to do some crazy things

In Vietnam, you get taxed according to the amount of land your house occupies. It results in all these shitty houses built silly high = recipe for disaster.

In Amsterdam, Holland, you get taxed on the street-frontage of your home. Check this joint out:



Apparently it opens up as you walk in...


But i don't think any of these are as odd as Lyon, France. The tax there is calculated on the area of all external windows... no, i'm not kidding.



If you enlarge it you can see some of the windows are boarded up.

The world is such a beautiful place...

Sunday, May 18, 2008

OMAN

this book is so unbelievably awesome it is unbelievably awesome

i highly suggest you either fork out the high price to buy it, or come over to my joint and check it out.

I also purchased this book whilst in Germany recently. It just further reiterates my belief that analogue photography, particularly black and white, shits on anything digital can ever do - not to mention the skill that is involved in analogue; digital is too easy.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

I'm going to do you a favour

I'm going to Review every character that Will Ferrell will perform in any movie that he stars in.

  • He (the Character) will be Stupid. Really Stupid. He will often do things, stupid things, that will injure himself.
  • He will, in the beginning, be either with love, or completely without love. He will then proceed to lose a love that he either previously had or one that he recently found.
  • He will regain that love or, in some rare cases, bask in the love of another.
  • Along the way there will be a sequence of scenes that are loosely described as 'Plot'
  • There isn't much contained in this 'plot' other than the occasional moment (see Stupid Things) where he causes the audience* to laugh.
*usually of low IQ

I hope you find this useful in the future as you see an ad for an upcoming Will Ferrell movie and wonder to yourself:

I wonder what character he will play this time?

The same character as every other time dip shit.


This was prompted by someone telling me that they thought Will Ferrell was the best actor going around.
You're kidding me? i thought to myself (i did not want to get into an argument with this person, they are very stubborn)
My definition of a good actor would be someone who can play a range of roles over different genres. Someone like Kevin Spacey or Benicio Del Toro.
I'm pretty sure that Will Ferrell doesn't appear in many movies outside the Man-walks-into-bar-OUCH! genre of idiodic American Trashy Toilet Humour.

But i could be wrong, some of his SNL is pretty funny.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

What is a Monster?

Josef Fritzl on, exactly, why he is not a beast:

"Nonetheless, I am not the beast the media depicts me as. When I went into the bunker, I brought flowers for my daughter and books and toys for the children and I watched adventure videos with them while Elisabeth was cooking our favourite dish"

Cause, you know, this totally makes up for what he did.

He also says that (in regards to being attrcted to his mother) he "was a very strong man, probably as strong as my mother, and as a result I was capable to keep my desires under control."

Totally.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Geburtstag Etikette

At my work, it's csutomary to provide cakes / sweets on your birthday for everyone else.

Why is this?
Why do I have to provide cakes on my birthday?
I assume it is because nobody else knows / cares enough to do it and there's just too much hassle

Why then, does it always have to be high in sugar, fatty foods?
I'm thinking for my birthday this year i will provide a lentil soup for everyone!

any other suggestions?