Thursday, November 12, 2009

Cute dog



"Hey, cute dog! How old is he?"

"She is 3 months"

How come most people automatically refer to dogs as 'he?'
Like all mammals, the sex is pretty much right on a 50-50 chance of going either way, so how come dogs are male by default, or until proven female?

This got me thinking, what other animals have similar traits? I was discussing this with my friend El Presidente, and this is our list:
  • Big cats = she
  • Zebras = he
  • Meerkats = she
  • horses = she
  • rhinos = he
  • monkeys = he
  • boats = she
  • cars = she (based upon El's experience in India where a taxi driver informed her that some drivers decorate their vehicles as if they were their wives)
This also reminded me of every time I've (tried) learnt a language (except Indonesian). The male and female case. Look at all the 'il' animals here! They are all big boys (not quite)! Whereas the 'la' animals are more graceful and pretty to look at (generally).

Ah, the Italians. They all have such a wonderful way with words. So romantic! Bless 'em!

What do you call "he's" and "she's," and is there anything you refer to as "it?"


NOTE: That is not my dog. That dog was borrowed from google

Monday, October 19, 2009

Old Macdonald

I've been hanging out with a lot of kids lately and one thing that i have noticed as strange is the lyrical progression of animal noises in the song "Old Macdonald had a farm."

I'm sure you all have heard the song before so I'll cut straight to the chase:
Once the song gets to the part where everybody begins doing their best animal impersonations, I found something odd. For example:
"...and on that farm he had a pig, Ee i ee i oh!, with an 'oink oink' here, and an 'oink oink' there, Ee i ee i oh!"

"And on that farm he had some chickens, Ee i ee i oh! With a cluck-cluck here, And a cluck-cluck there"

etc. etc.

One animal i find interesting though, is the poor old cow. Every animal is able to showcase his/her noises twice per demonstration, but the poor cow merely gets the one. For example:

"And on that farm he had a cow, Ee i ee i oh! With a moooo here, And a moooo there"

To be fair, it is always a drawn-out "moooooo" as opposed to the quicker "cluck-cluck"

Has anybody else noticed this? Or have you heard a "moo-moo here and a moo-moo there?"

Thursday, July 23, 2009

But i can't help it, i'm a romantic fool

I like to do little things for that special someone every now and then to remind them what a catch i am.

I did some extensive research on new places to go and things to do. I wanted it to be something completely fantastic. Something that everybody knows is fantastic, but nobody has done before.

We both have to work 9-til-5 at work. I was getting so excited i couldn't contain my sanity. In fact, they only thing that helped pass the time away was knowing that we'd be down at Echo Beach that day!

We hit a glitch in the navigation though, all we could find was "far away in time."
Confusing. If this place is so good then why don't more people know where it is? IS IT EVEN REAL??

Did Martha lie to me all these years?



Holy shit! How many Canadians does it take to write a deceptive one-hit-wonder? Which one is Martha? Is she the blonde one?? Is that her mother on the left?
And is that a young Phil Collins next to her?

There is so much more to the Muffins than I ever realised...

Monday, July 20, 2009

Where do these people come from?

the ones who right the lyrics for songs and put them on webpages??

i was interested in the finer details of the lyrics for a certain Jens Lekman song:



i'll take the liberty and copy the lyrics from a certain website here for you. Play the video and compare the lyrics (you have to get past the first chorus until it gets interesting though)

"I was slicing up an avocado
When you came up behind me
With your quiet brand new sneakers
Your reflection i did not see
It was the hottest day in august
And we were heading for the sea
For a second my mind started drifting

You put your arms around me
You put your arms around me
You put your arms around

Blood sprayed on the kitchen sink
What's this? I had time to think
I see the tip of my index finger
My mind is slowly creating a link
From your mouth speaks your lovely voice
The best comments i've ever heard
Oh honey, you've cut off your finger
I bet that's gotta hurt

You put your arms around me
You put your arms around me
You put your arms around

I must've passed out on the porch
I'd never seen so many bright stars
When i wake up im in the waiting room
Of the local e.r.
My hand is wrapped in toilet paper
And my shirts all blood red
I see you standing there like an angel
And i say baby, i must be dead

You put your arms around me
You put your arms around me
you put your arms around me"

I just can't see how someone can stuff those lyrics up so bad, they're so easy (that's not the studio version, but that is almost as clear)
Any ideas?
The only reasonable thing i can think of is that the song was released originally with the above lyrics, then re-released with the lyrics in the video??

Suggestions?

Thursday, June 04, 2009

I like to be, under the sea,

in an octopus' garden, in the shade

we bought an underwater camera the other day and had the sudden urge to use it on something really big. So we went and swam with the biggest fish in the sea:







Note this guy was about 9m long...

and this guy was about 4m diammeter:



and these guys were just chillin'

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Mandy

A friend of mine, let's call him Steve, was walking home through Northbridge*, WA, a few months back, very drunk. What better time to stop in to a sex shop? - Rhetorical question, there is no better time.
This is where Steve found Mandy. Mandy was reduced to just $20 and when you see the pictures below, you will see how Steve couldn't afford not to buy her.

When Steve approached the counter he said to the clerk:
"I can't believe you're selling this for $20!" to which the clerk replied
"I can't believe you're buying it"

Since then, Mandy has held a special place in the hearts of all that have come across her path. She has touched many.

So it is with great pleasure that I am able to introduce you to Mandy (be sure to enlarge the second picture and enjoy the read!):











Note: She is mostly only brought out for dinner parties

*Northbridge being known for it's sex shops etc.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

No credit to the original

I was listening to one of my all time favourite acts the other day, George Baker Selection, when Una Paloma Blanca came on:*



I was bopping along to the joyful tunes when i was struck with a disgusted, confused and dirty feeling.
Has George Baker ripped off one of the all time classics???

You decide:



Now, are you as disappointed as I am?


*how often have you seen a recorder in a pop song?